And yet… every Winter Olympics, the Dutch show up like they accidentally took the wrong flight to a speed skating competition and decided to just win everything anyway.
The Dutch Olympic Strategy (Probably)
Other countries:
- “We train in the Alps.”
- “We have world-class ski facilities.”
- “We invest in multiple winter sports.”
The Netherlands:
- “What if… we go really fast in circles?”
And honestly? It works.
Speed Skating: Basically a National Personality Trait
At the most recent Winter Olympics, the Netherlands casually finished third in the overall medal table with a record 10 gold medals and 20 total medals. ()
Now here’s the best part:
All. Of. Them. Came. From. Skating. ()
That’s right. While other countries are out there skiing, snowboarding, curling, sliding headfirst down ice tunnels—
the Dutch are like:
“Cool. We’ll just dominate one sport and go home early.”
Historical Overkill
This isn’t new behavior. Oh no.
Back in 2014, the Dutch didn’t just win speed skating—they took entire podiums. As in:
- Gold? Dutch.
- Silver? Dutch.
- Bronze? Also Dutch. ()
At one point they nearly finished 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in the same race. That’s not a competition anymore—that’s a national championship with international guests.
The Secret Behind the Madness
People love to say:
“Ah yes, it’s because of the canals.”
No.
If that were true, Venice would be dominating the Olympics and showing up in ski suits like, “Ciao, we brought pasta and medals.”
The real reason?
The Dutch treat speed skating like:
- Americans treat football
- Brazilians treat soccer
- Italians treat arguing about food
They have world-class facilities, professional teams, and kids who probably learn to skate before they learn to properly complain about the weather.
Meanwhile, in Other Sports…
The Dutch Olympic team does participate in other winter sports. Technically.
It’s just that those athletes spend most of their time watching the skaters win everything and thinking:
“Maybe… I should’ve chosen ice.”
The Most Dutch Thing Ever
Let’s take a moment to appreciate this:
A country with:
- No mountains
- Mild winters
- A national obsession with bicycles
Has somehow become the undisputed boss of sliding really fast on frozen water.
It’s like Jamaica deciding to dominate curling.
Final Thoughts
Every Winter Olympics, the Netherlands delivers the same message to the world:
“You can keep your mountains.
We’ll take the ice… and all the medals that come with it.”
And honestly?
At this point, if the Dutch ever discover skiing, it’s over for everyone.
Now excuse me while I go buy skates and question all my life choices. 😄
